13 REASONS WHY (2017-) SEASON 1 EPISODE 1 TV REVIEW

* 
15, 13 Episodes (Netflix)

Grossly insensitive and stupidly sensationalist.

This controversial Netflix-produced 13-part series centres around Clay Jenson (Dylan Minette) – a socially inept, high-school “geek” who finds himself infatuated with seemingly perfect new girl in class Hannah Baker (Katherine Langford).

Given the opening chapter appears to outrageously re-inforce every teen cliché in the book; naturally Hannah has no mutual feelings for the mild-mannered male protagonist. Of course, this is down to him being a “nerd” and not a “jock”!

“You’ll fill out someday…maybe” is Hannah’s blunt advice to Clay; suggesting any male not built like a brick outerhouse is frankly non-existent in this girl’s eyes.

As for Clay’s mousy shyness around her, Hannah views this as pure jealousy. “Is your dad also thin and nervous?” she bemuses. Call me old-fashioned, but when did a person’s body weight define confidence? Or at least when did we actually believe it truly defined such?

Moreover, does being “thin and nervous” make one less attractive or a horrid person?
The episode flits between two utterly unclarified time frames. One chin-stroking over Clay’s unintentionally creepy attempts at wooing his crush. The other, however, is grotesquely more offensive.

While we viewers are never exactly informed how far along this event takes place, the series’ much discussed central conceit surrounds that of Hannah’s unprecedented suicide.

Yet where one would expect this to provide foundation for a moving deconstruction of teenage mental illness, ’13 Reasons Why’ appears to wave such a subject around as if it’s a badge of honour! Or does it? ...

It’s not long before curious Clay receives a collection of anonymously sent audio cassette tapes fitted through his mailbox. Upon setting ears upon them, it is revealed to be the long lost voice of his deceased dream lover; intent on explaining just what led Hannah Baker to end her own life…

Or should I say – as this pilot seems to flippantly ram in our face – a virtually endless list of blame…

With a title such as “13 Reasons Why” alone threatening to tabloidize its deeply sensitive subject matter, arguably anyone should be wary of Writer Brian Yorkey’s show…
It’s no surprise therefore that – within at least 10 mins – one unreservedly felt his mouth plunging into a pillow; only to prevent himself from vomiting at something so monstrously manipulative.

For whatever you may have been told about the series being a harrowingly “real” eye-opener to the hidden world of cyberbullying, emotional abuse and body shaming, Episode 1 (entitled ‘Tape 1: Side A’) presents no smidgen of evidence regarding that…

Tonally skipping between schmaltzy melodrama, whimsy rom-com and trashy telly thriller, ’13 Reasons Why’ only coffee sips over it’s themes before mindlessly disposing of them as merely plastic pins on a crime map.

Undoubtedly many may argue that teenage suicide exploited as a plot device is no less inconsiderate than every throwaway ‘CSI’ case-of the-week murder streak. A point well made.

Yet in a world where mental health awareness is positively thriving, I can’t help, but find it slightly baffling that so-called "entertainment" like '13 Reasons Why' still exists.

This is essentially a fraudulently mopey exercise in ‘Twilight’ dirge. One that - while force-feeding dreary emo songs, wardrobe wooden acting and fatuously fabulist dialogue down your oesophagus – is unacceptably unconscious of its situation’s severity.

The show clearly aspires to be J.B Priestley’s ‘An Inspector Calls’, but this pilot problematically proves the distinct difference between analysing adolescent angst and deplorably screwing over society.

Unlike Channel 4’s terrific, Maisie Williams-starring ‘Cyberbully’ (2015) which laid out the digital dangers facing 12-18 year old girls with unbiased meditation; ‘13 Reasons Why’ seems duplicitous in its cynical “YOU DID THIS!” finger pointing.

Already, within its first hour, the show has Hannah gloating execrably about her naïve flings with a self-serving frat boy; only to later brutally chastise poor, well-meaning Clay when things go horrendously pear-shaped.

Indeed Hannah’s self-recorded tapes are ravished with bitter contempt for seemingly everyone around her, including those who clearly don’t deserve it.

As Hannah manipulates Clay into uncovering the truths behind her demise, one struggled to contain their inner hostility towards the Writer’s tension-milking treatment of these characters.

Not only does ‘13 Reasons Why’ appear to have an anti-PC checklist caricaturing every high school horror imaginable, but also criminally manages to degrade its core tragedy.

There’s not a drop of sympathy to be found towards a beautiful young woman; brimming with hopes and dreams and heartbreakingly stripped of such. Instead Writer Yorkey does nothing, but belittle her; largely making Hannah out to be a coward and attention-seeker – the exact stigma which mental health activists are passionately fighting hard to bust!