DOWNTON ABBEY (2019) FILM REVIEW

**

PG, 122 Mins

Won't win over any converts.

Given the moral monstrosities of the 'Entourage' (2015) and 'Sex and  the City' (2008-2010) movies, perhaps the fact that the "long-awaited" big screen version of 'Downton Abbey' (2010-2015) is, at best, mild froth at the top of a very weak cuppa is reason to praise the high heavens.

There's nothing remotely offensive or even controversial about this movie which centres around a royal visit to the much-famed manor. In fact, its saddeningly safe stateliness is its Achille's Heel. Any attempt at dramatic tension such as an assasination attempt against the monarch finds itself brushed aside in favour of suited and booted posh toffs scuppering from wardrobe wooden room to room while occasionally stopping to sip Earl Grey.

Film spin-offs of popular TV series have a tendency to feel, well, televisual and - with the exception of luxurious wide shots of the period setting in the opening credits and the amplified piano beats blaring from the sound system - this production reeks of a 2 hr sucrose small screen special. There's no attempt at bringing non-Downton afficianados up to speed with the phenomenon who will find themselves increasingly lost amongst the conveyer belt of celebrity cameos lining up to stiffly smile at the camera and speak in snooty, incomprehensible English before getting back to their tea.

On the plus side, the cast - ranging from Hugh Bonneville to Michelle Dockery to an always fabulous Maggie Smith - seem to be enjoying themselves enormously and good for them. However the rule remains that the more fun people had making a production, the less fun it is for anyone watching it.

65+ year old upper lip Britons will lap it up, but those who find its TV roots too benign to breathe are unlikely to be won over by this brain-numbingly boring rendition.
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