SPIDER-MAN: FAR FROM HOME (2019) FILM REVIEW

***

12A,  129 Mins

A whistle-stop tour of Europe descends into franchise fodder.

It's really annoying being in the minority of opinions, isn't it? Trust me, I know how it feels  and the 'Spider-Man' films - in all their various versions - are a classic example of exactly this. I was in a minority of people who felt short-changed by Sam Raimi's emotionally empty 2002-2007 originals (too much Tobey Maguire dancing) and, again, was in the pint-sized population who shared the belief that the Andrew Garfield-starring reboots were the superior products.

How disheartening therefore that all the angsty good work of those films should be grossly undone by the mess of 'Spider-Man: Homecoming' (2017) - less a movie than a marketing campaign for Marvel's ever-expanding brand name. That is despite rave reviews claiming the studio had finally nailed the beating heart of the web-slinging vigilante.

Two years on, we get 'Spider-Man: Far From Home' (2019) and we're now in a post-Tony Stark world populated by teens with older brothers now younger than them thanks to "the Blip" (Thanos's wipeout of half of universal existence).

Tom Holland's geeky Peter Parker has far bigger problems to contend with though. Specifically how he's going to woo "girl next door" Mary-Jane Watson (Zendaya). Perhaps a school trip to Europe should be the answer to all his greatest woes. Although, as Peter finds out, it's not easy balancing hormones with saving the world...

It's hardly surprising that 'Far From Home' is marked improvement on its cartoony predecessor and does benefit from nice 80s nostalgia, an abundance of attractive European locations and a deliciously camp villain in Jake Gyllenhaal's paralell world-travelling Mysterio - a welcome change from the science experiment-gone-wrong baddies that too often serve as Spidey's nemesises.

It's faults lie in the cold, clinical corporateness of its franchise-building cinematic universe that undercuts the whistle-stop sightseeing on display. This is less a sequel than a bitsized epilogue to the gargantuan finale offered up by 'The Avengers: Endgame' (2019) populated by "wink wink" nods to fellow superheroes and cameos that turn out to be more extended gags than "bit parts".

To be fair, the episodic nature of the plotting is nothing new to the Marvel Universe. It's certainly what made me switch off even in the better standalone outings like 'Black Panther' (2018) and 'Thor: Ragnarok' (2017). And yet rarely has one of the studio's productions felt so devoid of creative heft with this film existing largely by virtue of establishing further franchise fodder.

It doesn't help that Tom Holland is utterly inept in the titular role. His attempts at adolescent angst resembling that of an irritating puppy barking for unearned attention while his chemistry with peppy Zendaya is virtually non-existent.

With such an absence of character development, that Director Jon Watts should try to distract us from the one dimensional writing with rampant CGI destructions of London, Venice and Prague is perhaps forgivable. Such 'Transformers'-style tedium might be more bearable if we had a smidgen of heart tucked amidst the carnage, but this big-budget behemoth appears to have eyes fixed firmly on the crowds...